Posts Tagged ‘whores’

Meet the Pen Pals

August 5, 2010

First Pen Pal (crystal meth chef)

Second Pen Pal (mercenary / gun runner / spy / pathological liar / know-it-all)

Third Pen Pal (murderer)

I work the graveyard shift and get home in the early hours of the morning. Usually the first thing I do is let our pets out. When I opened the back door and turned on the light, someone was sleeping out in the hammock. It was my least favorite Pen Pal. After the first couple times I met this guy, I couldn’t stand him. He’s vain, cocky, and just plain scummy. A drama queen and an attention whore. I’m not even mentioning that he still wears a mullet.

Speaking of whores, the last straw was when I came home one morning from work, and things in my bathroom had been moved around. Several of my lotions, and a couple of my perfumes had been sampled and not put back exactly in the right place. That’s when I knew IO and this Pen Pal had brought his hooker girlfriend into our house as soon as I had gone to work. I didn’t care about the things she used; I was mad as hell that they waited until I went to work to bring her there. That’s sneaking. When I confronted IO with it, he conversed with the Pen Pal and returned to tell me that the Pal had used my things. Not that I believed it, but if I had, I would have much bigger problems than those I was dwelling on at the time.

IO and I still argue over this guy, for the same reason. Now the story has changed from “the Pen Pal used your things,” to “I was here, too, and so what?” to “I drove; he didn’t even have a car,” as if any of that justifies it.

When more Pen Pals came into IO’s life, this one took a backseat. IO sometimes reported to me how the guy had been caught stealing tools, had pawned them, and was thrown out of the hotel room where he lived because he spent all his money on drugs and hookers. Sounded like bad news to me.

At some point, the Pen Pal began sharing a studio apartment with a Second Pen Pal, who is also a very impressive guy. From what he told me, he was in prison for being a mercenary / gun-runner / spy.  He tried to dazzle me with some very deep bullshit, and made a pass at me the first time I met him.

Being the drama queens they are, First and Second got into an argument, and Second assaulted First, or so the story goes, and who knows? First Pal, for some reason unknown to me, had to move out of the apartment, but had nowhere to go. How about to Third’s place? Hello.  Halfway House?  Anywhere but camping in my back yard. Anywhere but near me.

I have made it plain to both First and IO that I do not want him here, but it makes no difference at all to either of them. I have threatened to call the police because the guy is across a state line he is not supposed to cross, but so far, I haven’t made good on the threat.

In the mean time, my old suv is seriously ailing with an oil spill of her own, and I don’t think IO has any of that windfall left.